NAKED FARANG
Whitespace ID
HomeExpat LifeNews & BlogsYour SayFun & GamesThai TravelsThai CultureThai Facts



…but you can never take my soul.

NAKED CONTENT

Business Writing Services

Creative Writing Services

Portfolio and Testimonials

Advertise on Naked Farang

-------------


PORTFOLIO AND TESTIMONIALS

Business Writing Testimonials:

My work involves regular contact with Western corporate clients, and it is vital to the success of my job that I present clear and accurate written communication, whether e-mails or sales proposals. Bangkok BC Writing Services has helped me save time and headaches with their excellent editing, template design and training services.

Ms. Suntharee Sachaphorndet – Assistant Director (Corporate Sales)

Paul Snowdon helped me understand the basics of writing with clear and easy training. Now I am much more confident when I submit my reports.

Ms. Phimpheera Toboonme – Retail Coordinator

---------------------------------------------

Business Writing Portfolio:

Advertorial (300 words)
Editing (before and after)

Creative Writing Portfolio:

Editing (before and after)
Article (800 words)
Book Excerpt (500 words)

Check out Bangkok BC Writing for more samples of our writing services

---------------------------------------------

Business Writing Portfolio:

ADVERTORIAL (300 words)

Berlitz Advertorial for Insight Study Guide 2007: Paul Snowdon

Berlitz Languages, Inc. is the world’s leading language services provider, offering social, business and academic courses at over 400 locations in more than 60 countries. Founded in the USA by Maximillian Berlitz in 1878, Berlitz has been active in Thailand for over 30 years.

Berlitz quickly became famous as the pioneer of a communicative method of instruction, known simply as the Berlitz Method. The method, involving 5 teaching principles, has been vital to the continued success of Berlitz throughout the world.

The first principle, exclusive use of the target language, encourages students not only to speak the target language, but also to think in it, improving both fluency, as the students don’t pause to translate mentally; and accuracy, because many mistakes arise from students transliterating their native language into the target language.

The second principle, a minimum of 50% student participation, builds confidence and fluency, while allowing the instructors to highlight development areas when the students make mistakes.

Speaking and listening, supported by reading and writing, further emphasizes interactive study over lecture-style instruction. Similarly, grammar as a means of communication, allows grammatical structures to be assimilated through hearing and using without tedious and ineffective grammar explanations.

Finally, Berlitz offers fun, lively, goal-oriented lessons to maximize student motivation and, subsequently, their success.

Berlitz’ screening, hiring, training and development process for its instructors is second to none. Students also receive regular counseling from Program Advisors to ensure that they are receiving the standard of service that Berlitz promises.

In Bangkok, Berlitz has language centers at Silom, Sukhumvit and Siam Paragon, offering a wide range of courses from pre-primary to executive level business. They also specialize in academic preparation, including courses for IELTS and TOEFL preparation, academic writing, academic reading, university interview preparation and MBA preparation. Class sizes range from 1 to 6 students, although charter groups can be arranged for up to 10 students.

back to top

EDITING (Before and After)

BEFORE EDITING

Dear XXX,

Regarding to your recent inquiry. Please see an attachment which is give price of the courses we are offer. There are many courses such as business and etc. We have to know what is your level before we can suggest you a group so please make an appointment to interview at your convenient. You can confirm with me.

Regards,

XXX

 

AFTER EDITING

Dear XXX,

Thank you for your recent inquiry about our courses. I have attached a price list to give you an idea of the courses we offer.

However, before we can place you in a group, we need to conduct a needs analysis to determine your goals and a placement interview to ascertain your proficiency level.

Please let me know when is convenient for you. The interview should take approximately 30 minutes.

Thank you and best regards,

XXX

back to top

Creative Writing Portfolio:

EDITING (Before and After)

BEFORE EDITING

“Why do you come here?” sang English gay rock icon Morrissey in 1989 on his first solo single (Suedehead), and it’s a question I have been asked a multitude of times over the last 16 years that along with “why do you go there?. For me Thailand is like a drug, something to be enjoyed that can be highly addictive. I arrived here with my gay partner of 32 years in May 1991, we had no real preconceptions about the place. A friend in Sydney had advised that it was a great place to visit for shopping, eating and the beaches were incredible. A hippy friend at the time suggested we head to the island of Koh Samuii in the south, that it was unspoiled, with no big hotel developments, a really nice place to unwind and forget about the outside world.

With this information we embarked on a holiday that would change our lives forever. Some people holiday in Thailand, and they never get “hooked”, they arrive spend a couple of weeks, leave and rarely think about the place ever again. But for us Thailand was like the magic kingdom, a place that is rarely affected by the goings on in the outside world, populated by people who seemed unstressed with the grind of daily life, people who showed absolute respect and kindness for strangers from another land .We had succumbed to “the land of smiles”, and life for us back in Australia would never be the same again.

Our first trip was carefully planned. A few days in Bangkok, do some shopping, head to Koh Samuii for two weeks, a few more days in Bangkok, then home, simple!. Our first night here seems like yesterday, we arrived at the Narai Hotel in Silom Rd around 11.00 pm. We selected this hotel as we were told that the gay nightlife and Patpong night markets were in the same street, but we were unsure of how far away they were. We showered and hurried out of our hotel, and climbed into the first available “Tuk Tuk” for a journey to “Harry’s Bar” located in Silom Soi 2. Before I continue with this story, let it be known we are and have never been “gay sex tourists”, god knows we have been accused of it countless times, with gibes such as “oh they like having sex with young Thai boys”, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. The reason we love the place so much is because of the people and the attitudes of Thai people. So, continuing on with the story of our first night, we asked the Tuk Tuk driver the cost to go there “oh, 100 baht” said the driver, it was in fact a 30 baht ride and only a ten minute walk from our hotel, but we were first timers and a little “wet” behind the ears.

Upon our arrival we walked up a very small tiled Soi, the atmosphere of the place I cannot put accurately into words. Smiling faces, people saying hello. We were greeted by a large moustachioed Thai man , this was Harry, a gregarious and funny man who we would share many a night chatting and drinking with over the next few years. Sadly Harry’s Bar is long gone, and Harry himself passed away many years ago, but the atmosphere of that first night will stay with us both forever. Soi 2 is still a small gay street and these days is still very popular with locals and tourists on a Friday and Saturday night. I’m sure for many “first timers” the atmosphere is still there. Over the next 16 years I have stumbled out of that Soi countless times “the worse for wear”.

The second night in Bangkok saw us discover the second gay Soi in Patpong. Soi 4. This narrow street contained the Telephone Bar ( it’s still there to this day), and the Rome Club. The Rome club was a gay/mixed dance club and the place to be on a Friday and Saturday night. Back in the early 1990’s Soi 4 was so busy on a Saturday night that you had to battle your way through the crowds to get to either of these bars. There was always a long queue half way up the Soi of people trying to get into the Rome Club after 11.00 pm. In the mid 1990’s the Rome club changed hands, and the new owners decided they didn’t want “undesirables” in their club, this meant no gays (unusual attitude for Bangkok!), and overnight attendance fell to almost zero. Within 12 months of the take over the club was closed!. So much for the power of the gay baht!.

After a few days in Bangkok we headed to Koh Samuii, my hippy friend was correct. It was like paradise!, a few grass huts near Chaweng beach, and the cleanest, whitest sand I have ever seen. We spent two weeks soaking up the sun, spending many nights at the Green Mango, and the Bob Marley bar. There was no gay scene in Koh Samuii in those days, and it really didn’t matter anyway, people accepted you for who you were. If you were a friendly guy, then the locals were happy to drink the night away with you. In those days there was a thriving live music scene around the Chaweng Beach area, and I spent many nights jamming in the Bob Marley bar with local musicians. But the best night we ever had in Samuii was with a friend we met Khun Sompop. Sompop worked as a tour guide in Samuii, and was a hard drinker and womanizer. We hit it off immediately. One night Sompop arrived on his motorbike and said “lets go, I have found a party”.He rounded us up, and also had a friend with him!. So there we were four of us on a small motorbike driving around in the dead of night in Samuii. We eventually came upon the party, there were about 50 people there, all Thai, mostly guys. I recall about 3 girls being there. Why so many men in one location?, I have no idea!. Most of the people there spoke no English, but communication was no problem. We had the most incredible evening, and experienced true Thai hospitality for the first time. All night our glasses were full, people were so attentive, making sure we had enough to eat, and that despite the language barrier we were having a great time. Incredible!.

Maybe you can see why we became smitten with Thailand. Upon our return to Sydney we craved the kindness of Thai people, and for the next 14 years, we tried to get back to Thailand as much as possible (sometimes 3 times a year!). Over the next 14 years we traveled to various destinations in Thailand. Koh Samuii, Koh Samet, Pattaya, Sukhothai, Ayuthaya, Udon Thani, Surin, Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai, River Kwai, and most recently Phuket. We met some amazing people in our travels and I have many stories to tell that happened during that time. In 2005 I was made redundant from my job as a travel agent in Sydney, and my partner retired, the time was right for us, and we relocated to Bangkok. It’s now been 18 months since we arrived, I now work as an English language teacher in Silom, and we have never regretted a day that we have been here. As for missing our past lives in Sydney, we miss friends, but certainly don’t miss the lifestyle. We have adopted Thailand, and hopefully Thailand has adopted us.

AFTER EDITING

“Why do you come here?” sang English gay rock icon Morrissey in 1989 on his first solo single (Suedehead), and it’s a question I have been asked a multitude of times over the last 16 years – that along with “why do you go there?” For me Thailand is like a drug, something to be enjoyed that can be highly addictive. I first arrived here with my gay partner of 32 years in May 1991 with no real preconceptions about the place, but it has since become the place I call home.

Back in 1991, a friend in Sydney had advised that it was a great place to visit for shopping and eating and that the beaches were incredible. A hippy friend at the time also suggested we head to the island of Koh Samui in the south, explaining that it was unspoiled with no big hotel developments and would be a really nice place to unwind and forget about the outside world.

With this information we embarked on a holiday that would change our lives forever. Some people holiday in Thailand, and never get “hooked”. They arrive, spend a couple of weeks, leave and rarely think about the place ever again. But for us Thailand was like the magic kingdom, a place rarely affected by the goings on in the outside world, populated by people who seemed unstressed with the grind of daily life, people who showed absolute respect and kindness for strangers from another land. We had succumbed to “the land of smiles”, and life for us back in Australia would never be the same again.

Our first trip was carefully planned. A few days in Bangkok, do some shopping, head to Koh Samui for two weeks, a few more days in Bangkok, then home. Simple! Our first night here still seems like yesterday. We arrived at the Narai Hotel in Silom Road around 11.00 pm. We selected this hotel as we were told that the gay nightlife and Patpong night markets were in the same street, but we were unsure of how far away they were. We showered and hurried out of our hotel, and climbed into the first available “tuk-tuk” for a journey to “Harry’s Bar” located in Silom Soi 2.

Before I continue with this story, let it be known we are not and never have been “gay sex tourists”. God knows we have been accused of it countless times, with gibes such as “oh they like having sex with young Thai boys”, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. The reason we love the place so much is because of the people and the attitudes of Thai people.

So, continuing on with the story of our first night, we asked the tuk-tuk driver the cost to go Silom Soi 2. “Oh, 100 baht,” said the driver. It was in fact a 30 baht ride and only a ten-minute walk from our hotel, but we were first timers and a little “wet” behind the ears.

Upon our arrival we walked up a very small tiled Soi. The atmosphere of the place I cannot put accurately into words. Smiling faces, people saying hello. We were greeted by a large moustachioed Thai man. This was Harry, a gregarious and funny man who we would share many a night chatting and drinking with over the next few years. Sadly Harry’s Bar is long gone, and Harry himself passed away many years ago, but the atmosphere of that first night will stay with us both forever. Soi 2 is still a small gay street and these days is still very popular with locals and tourists on a Friday and Saturday night. I’m sure for many “first timers” the atmosphere is still there. Over the next 16 years I have stumbled out of that Soi countless times “the worse for wear”.

The second night in Bangkok saw us discover the second gay Soi on Silom – Soi 4. This narrow street contained the Telephone Bar, which is still there to this day, and the Rome Club. The Rome club was a gay/mixed dance club and the place to be on a Friday and Saturday night. Back in the early 1990’s Soi 4 was so busy on a Saturday night that you had to battle your way through the crowds to get to either of these bars. There was always a long queue stretching half way up the soi of people trying to get into the Rome Club after 11.00 pm. In the mid 1990’s the Rome club changed hands, and the new owners decided they didn’t want “undesirables” in their club. This meant no gays (a most unusual attitude for Bangkok!), and overnight the attendance fell to almost zero. Within 12 months of the takeover, the club was closed! So much for the power of the gay baht!

After a few days in Bangkok we headed to Koh Samui. My hippy friend was correct. It was like paradise! – a few grass huts near Chaweng beach, and the cleanest, whitest sand I have ever seen. We spent two weeks soaking up the sun, spending many nights at the Green Mango, and the Bob Marley bar. There was no gay scene on Koh Samui in those days, but it really didn’t matter anyway. People accepted you for who you were. If you were a friendly guy, then the locals were happy to drink the night away with you. In those days there was a thriving live music scene around the Chaweng Beach area, and I spent many nights jamming in the Bob Marley bar with local musicians. But the best night we ever had in Samui was with a friend we met, Khun Sompop. He worked as a tour guide in Samui, and was a hard drinker and womanizer. We hit it off immediately. One night Sompop arrived on his motorbike and said “lets go, I have found a party”. He rounded us up, and also had a friend with him!. So there we were four of us on a small motorbike driving around in the dead of night on Samui. We eventually came upon the party, where there were about 50 people, all Thai and mostly guys. I recall about 3 girls being there. Why so many men in one location? I have no idea! Most of the people there spoke no English, but communication was no problem. We had the most incredible evening, and experienced true Thai hospitality for the first time. All night our glasses were full, people were so attentive, making sure we had enough to eat, and that despite the language barrier we were having a great time. Incredible!

Maybe you can see why we became smitten with Thailand. Upon our return to Sydney we craved the kindness of Thai people, and for the next 14 years, we tried to get back to Thailand as much as possible (sometimes 3 times a year!). Over the next 14 years we travelled to various destinations in Thailand: Koh Samui, Koh Samet, Pattaya, Sukhothai, Ayuthaya, Udon Thani, Surin, Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai, River Kwai and, most recently, Phuket. We met some amazing people on our travels and I have many stories to tell that happened during that time.

In 2005 I was made redundant from my job as a travel agent in Sydney, and my partner retired. The time was right for us, and we relocated to Bangkok. I now work as an English language teacher in Silom and, after 18 months, we have never regretted a day that we have been here. As for missing our past lives in Sydney, we miss friends, but certainly don’t miss the lifestyle. We have adopted Thailand, and hopefully Thailand has adopted us.

back to top

ARTICLE (800 words)

WHO ATE ALL THE RICE?

Despite Thai food being famed the world over as a healthy balance of grains, vegetables and seafood, it’s proving just a little too popular with some locals it seems. The WHO recently reported that almost 1 in 6 Thais suffer from obesity, earning the nation a ranking of 5th in the Asia Pacific Lardass League.

Only Australia, Mongolia, Vanuatu and Hong Kong rated fatter than Thailand in the WHO report. I can understand Mongolia, with their long, cold winters dictating the need for a high-fat diet of mare’s milk cheese and beer, and even Vanuatu, with their “acquired” liking for deep fried spam, being in the top 5, but Thailand?

One of the reasons Thai women are so attractive to farang men is that they are much slimmer than the average farang woman (and farang man) because – it is assumed – of a healthier diet and lifestyle. However, the WHO report cites a propensity for fast food and a lack of exercise as the primary causes of Thai obesity.

It’s certainly true that a large percentage of fat Thai-Chinese kids can be seen waddling around Bangkok, and I have personally observed on countless occasions parents shovelling sweets, junk food and sugary drinks into their offspring like they are preparing for hibernation.

Saturday mornings in one language school where I worked would see kids making their own cups of O-van-teeeen (Ovaltine to you and me). The standard way to make this “drink” would involve shovelling enough Ovaltine powder into the cup to half fill it. This was followed by equal amounts of milk powder and sugar until the cup was almost full. Finally, a dash, nay a soupcon, of hot water would be added and stirred in for no other purpose than to aid emulsification so that the disgusting and smelly concoction could be eaten rather than drunk.

Kids would be hyperactive and disruptive in class and unable to focus on their studies. When it was explained to parents that the excessive sugar in their children’s blood was the cause of this, the very idea was greeted with disbelief, suspicion or derision. Perfectly adept teachers would be blamed for not knowing how to manage their classroom. I sometimes secretly wish that conversations had taken this route:

• Teacher: Pong really should cut down on the chocolate and Ovaltine. It’s causing him to be hyperactive and preventing him from focusing on his studies. He’s disrupting the class for all the other children and he’s broken 7 chairs.
• Parent: Oh, but he loves chocolate and Ovaltine.
• Teacher: Yes, but then he might like heroin, too. Have you considered trying that?

Of course, the point here is that kids love junk food (not junk) if you give it to them, but surely it’s the responsibility of the parents to regulate their children’s diets.

The WHO also reported that office workers accounted for a large percentage of Thailand’s obese, and anyone who has worked with Thais would wonder how even more of them aren’t fighting the flab based on their daily work routines, which usually include 7 or 8 meals.

More surprising from the report was that a large number of soldiers were included as being overweight. Bearing in mind that the report cited junk food and lack of exercise for the main reasons of Thai obesity, isn’t this a little worrying? Don’t soldiers have to be fit and ready to repel invaders? Don’t they eat regulated diets? Don’t they spend each morning crawling under rope nets and twirling rifles and other macho military stuff?

Could this be the curse of the famed and mysterious “inactive posts” that are the dubious punishment of the corrupt Thai officials who are unlucky enough to be singled out? If so, then surely the police force, government officials and politicians would have been top of the pile and far ahead of the army. The spectacle of a plump policeman in an ill-fitting uniform is a regular sight around Thailand.

Whether it’s diet, lack of exercise or big bones, people will always find excuses for their corpulence. Personally, whenever I used to be accused of being fat, I would trot out an old maxim: It’s not “fat”; it’s a sign of affluence.

One thing is for sure. Despite Thailand’s high ranking in the WHO report, her collective citizens still have a long way to go before they are anywhere near as horizontally challenged as those in the “developed” nations of The US and UK.

Paul Snowdon – October 10, 2007

back to top

BOOK EXCERPT (500 words)

Excerpt from The Naked Farang: Four Weddings and a Coup

The Massage

Thailand is famous for massages, and the best massages are said to be the ones given by blind masseuses. I’m not sure whether blind people become good masseuses or good masseuses become blind, but I suppose it could be linked to what my mother used to warn me about, although that was more specifically related to self massage as I remember. Anyway, one of the most famous massage centres in Thailand is on the outskirts of Chiang Mai. After a long and arduous trek, what better way to soothe away your aches and pains than with a gentle and relaxing massage, or so I thought. I set out to find this mystical experience with Canadian Dave, my elephant buddy. It was a bit of a trek finding the place (pun intended), but it was certainly going to be worth it. At least that’s what I kept telling myself as we walked around back streets looking for the place. I would like to tell you what a wonderfully soothing and somehow spiritual experience it was. I would like to tell you that, but my mother told me never to lie. I was hoping to have my pains soothed away by tender hands caringly massaging my aching muscles, but instead I was bent, folded, kneaded and generally battered worse than when I went to Millwall with Leeds United in the mid 80s.

As the masseuse took the little toe on my left foot, she tenderly moved it in a circle and then ever so gently yanked it almost clean out of its socket. JESUS CHRIST WOMAN!!! Nine more toes to go and I know what’s coming now. With the toes finally finished, she started probing her knuckles between the bones of my feet. I couldn’t stand it any more and contemplated making a dash for it. I looked across at Dave and, although I could only see the back of his head, I knew he was grimacing. He was pinned down with his arms tied in knots behind his back. I couldn’t leave him behind. What horrors would they inflict on him if I escaped? I was duty-bound to stay and suffer until the bitter end for Dave’s sake. It was not what I had been expecting. Of course I smiled and left a tip when I was finally released for good behaviour.

I have heard countless people saying how their massage was so rad a massage sielaxing that they fell asleep. I would find it easier to fall sleep while being beaten up by a Thai kick-boxer or tortured by a sadistic nun on PCP than during one of those massages. Dave and I ached so bad that we barely made it to the main road to catch a tuk-tuk back to our hostel.

I don’t know whether I have been the victim of some global conspiracy or whether the real blind masseuses in Chiang Mai had been temporarily replaced by sadistic doppelgangers, but I may never truly recover from the trauma and have never hnce.

back to top

------------------------------------------------



NAKED FARANG - Ads




HomeExpat LifeNews & BlogsYour SayFun & GamesThai TravelsThai CultureThai Facts
terms of use
privacy policy